Day 7 - 10 Ka Dum

My mother reminisces that I wouldn’t leave her finger even when I was sleeping. It anchored me in childhood. Being close to her, helped drive away the demons. Today, I wish to tell my mother that I still hold her unseen finger. It is nearness to her alone that sees me through all the rough times. My father tells me that I was mortally afraid of crossing the road. I would wait and wait and cross the road only when there was no traffic. Dad, I want you to know that even today, I do not cross the limits and boundaries of relationships.

So I was telling you about my fear, how it raised its ugly head and how I was in two minds about doing 10 Ka Dum. I think that courage is not a constant factor in life. A brave soldier enters the enemy camp and the same soldier is mortally afraid of a lizard on the wall. I have seen some brave people running out of the toilet because of a crawling cockroach. No one is courageous all twenty-four hours. It is a divine blessing that one gets only at times of crisis – when one really needs it.

Whenever I am in two minds and doubts begin to gnaw at my soul, I go to my personal gym. The strenuous work out not only brings out sweat, but also purges my soul and all my fears are washed away. It dawned upon me that on the show, I should be just myself. I do not need to act. It would be done without a script. I will behave just as I am in my living room, chatting with friends. The contestants would be real people, and I should be as real and spontaneous. I had cracked it! I loudly said “spontaneous” and wanted to come out of the bath as the scientist Archimedes had come out shouting Eureka! Eureka!!

So, now I have no fears. And now I can look Mr. Siddhartha Basu directly in the eye! Once again I felt the excitement, the prospect of meeting my fans, friends and my countrymen…I was ready to take the first step of 10 ka Dum. The thrill is back… and here to stay!

Day 6 - 10 Ka Dum

Let me tell you about the time when Siddhartha Basu came to me with his team, to explain the format of 10 Ka Dum… in great detail. You see, Mr. Basu has a penchant for every minute detail and is quite repetitive in his discourses. I often get bored with too many details. I believe in things left untold. My entire life is like an unwritten poem and Basu would love to pronounce even the colons and semi-colons!

Much later I realized that in a show like this, detail is of extreme importance and attention to it, even more so. The time space is limited and the schedule is extremely tight. In the television space, every second is costly and one is accountable for it. The ticking of the clock is the very heartbeat of television. People involved in the television industry are constantly whipped by the moving hands of the clock…living only to meet deadlines. For them “Time is a Bomb”. And I am exactly the opposite of it. I am governed by the clock in my body. I get up when the sun rises in my heart and go to sleep when the moon and stars are too tired to shine! My lunchtime is when I am very hungry and it may happen at sunset! The universe within governs me.

See you tomorrow…

Ahh wait … I feel like telling you more…It was actually when Siddhartha Basu left, that I began to think about the show and my role as an anchor. My initial feeling was that I’ve taken a ‘Panga’, which might cost me a lot. Caught in a blue funk …even the thought of withdrawing crossed my mind!

My screen image is that of a very courageous man and at times I feel like believing it. Every man has an enormous capacity to delude himself. No..?

DAY 5

Hi guys,
been caught up with some work...to chand din aapko mera intezaar karna padega...
and then ill be back with you...c you soon...