My mother reminisces that I wouldn’t leave her finger even when I was sleeping. It anchored me in childhood. Being close to her, helped drive away the demons. Today, I wish to tell my mother that I still hold her unseen finger. It is nearness to her alone that sees me through all the rough times. My father tells me that I was mortally afraid of crossing the road. I would wait and wait and cross the road only when there was no traffic. Dad, I want you to know that even today, I do not cross the limits and boundaries of relationships.
So I was telling you about my fear, how it raised its ugly head and how I was in two minds about doing 10 Ka Dum. I think that courage is not a constant factor in life. A brave soldier enters the enemy camp and the same soldier is mortally afraid of a lizard on the wall. I have seen some brave people running out of the toilet because of a crawling cockroach. No one is courageous all twenty-four hours. It is a divine blessing that one gets only at times of crisis – when one really needs it.
Whenever I am in two minds and doubts begin to gnaw at my soul, I go to my personal gym. The strenuous work out not only brings out sweat, but also purges my soul and all my fears are washed away. It dawned upon me that on the show, I should be just myself. I do not need to act. It would be done without a script. I will behave just as I am in my living room, chatting with friends. The contestants would be real people, and I should be as real and spontaneous. I had cracked it! I loudly said “spontaneous” and wanted to come out of the bath as the scientist Archimedes had come out shouting
So, now I have no fears. And now I can look Mr. Siddhartha Basu directly in the eye! Once again I felt the excitement, the prospect of meeting my fans, friends and my countrymen…I was ready to take the first step of 10 ka Dum. The thrill is back… and here to stay!